This is (not) normal
25/05/26
It is the morning after the night before and I’m feeling a bit worse for wear. I had sent my wife to bed whilst I singlehandedly changed the world with a few comments online. I checked them in the morning and they were all fine, I think I’ve been here too long. In the UK, Boris Johnson and David Cameron would receive my wrath, never rude but enough to make you feel better.
Yesterday seems like a distant dystopian nightmare, why did I get so upset? I will tell you in just a few words. It’s upsetting seeing people distraught and in pain, these are people I love. Police officers, tear gas and a MP crying are not what I’m used to seeing, so I naturally feel revulsion. Now at 12.45pm, it had slipped back into the normal, it’s just the way things are. Am I normalising trauma?
Most of the news channels carry the image of one man. It is like a golden Pharaoh has been resurrected from the dead. The words are repeated over and over again “Calm Down.” He is a teacher and the population are naughty hyperactive toddlers who have eaten too many sweets.
Evening
The leader who isn’t the leader is holding rallies the new leader who isn’t the leader is at home whilst the leader who isn’t the leader goes to the rallies from parliament as the leader not leader of the parliamentary group that he is no longer leader of, is that clear.
The others say this is nothing to do with us whilst the puppets dance around.
Before I turn in, I glance around the channels as I do throughout the day. Each carry almost the exact same story at the same time. Now it is “Who is in the building?” It is like a symphony with a conductor orchestrating their daily digest.
Police storm CHP headquarters after leadership ouster
26/05/06
Midday on an extremely hot day in a west coast city the police provide water hoses to cool the protesters down. This is of course not true, except there are water hoses knocking old people down in the street. I feel revulsion, people carrying nothing more than their beliefs. Is this normal. I’m sure someone can explain to me why it is.
And then I see a water fountain splashing into a delightful pool, a distant friend showing current memories at the Hotel Luxury Life online. Holding beers no one can afford, food out of their reach. The snapshot of time spent relaxed and regenerated, flying over the specks of misfortune. “Oh look that must be a gigantic water fountain in a swimming pool.”
I can’t promise to be
calm, dignified
and indifferent,
like a rock by the sea…
If my heart’s going to break,
Let it break from anger,
Grief,
Or joy
Nazim Hikmet
(to be continued and continued and continued)
David R. Mellor is from Liverpool, England. He spent his late teens homeless on Merseyside. He is currently writing and performing in Turkey. His work has been featured by the BBC and the Tate, and his published collections of poetry are What a Catch (2013), Some Body (2013), Express Nothing (2019) and So This Is It (2020). His collection of stories An Englishman in Turkey – Türkiye’de Bir İngiliz is recently published in Turkish.
