A Guerrilla Speaks Up: Mountains and Childhood

Why do children go up the mountains [and join PKK]? This is actually a question that can be analyzed from many angles, extensively. I can only point out a few things about the emotional-ideational atmosphere as far as I have seen and experienced it.

We define them as (18 years and under), but these people who go to the mountain don’t see themselves as children! As you know, people stop seeing themselves as children starting age fourteen, fifteen. This is an important threshold. It’s a time where you’re searching, where you want to be “something.” 

Despite all the diversity and difference it harbors, Turkey is a rather turbulent and problematic society, with its right-winger, left-winger, liberal, social democrat, religionist, sectary, and the like. People already fall under the influence of one of these as they’re coming out of childhood. Those who go to the mountain, in turn, fall under the influence of revolutionism, of the guerrilla movement. It’s as simple as that. 

I too was one of those who went off to the mountain at what you might call a childhood age. Of course I didn’t see myself as a child either those days or afterwards, and I wasn’t seen as one. I had many friends aged 16 or 17. We used to call them very young participants and not children. 

It’s not seen well to call someone who joined the revolutionary flank a child. That person will not allow that either, they will get upset because they went there with belief in what they were doing and embarked on a serious endeavor. To call them a child is, in a way, like insulting or looking down on them. 

I would like to make an important note here. Yes, those who come to the mountain are called not children but young people, and are respected. Besides, you’re stationed based on your age. For instance they’re kept away from conflict areas, and other heavy, tiring training and chores. People set up places where they stay with their peers. 

That is to say, the people at the organization try to create opportunities suitable to their age. It was like that when I was there; maybe they’ve developed it more by now. Obviously mountain conditions are hard; everything cannot be adjusted to your liking. In spite of this, more opportunities are created every passing day. 

Now when this is the approach here, what does the government do; they say “you’re a child,” they mock, they look down on your thoughts, your beliefs, tell you you’ve been deceived, etc. As a result, their approach is so terrible that a child’s mind cannot conceive of it. 

Why, how?

When first caught, they kept asking me my age at Diyarbakır Gendarmerie Intelligence and Anti-Terror Unit (JİTEM), telling me “you’re a child,” but then horrifically torturing me. I was yet seventeen or eighteen years old. Everything aside, I could not conceive of one person persecuting another like this. And so I left after this event. Now you judge the difference between the two approaches.

I am one of Alevi Kurds of Maraş province. Back there, Alevi consciousness is more on the foreground. We never denied our Kurdishness, but when you don’t know the language, the culture, etc. what good is it when you don’t deny it? I became aware of a lot of things in this struggle. I learned Kurdish later on.

We grew up mainly with elegies for Deniz Gezmiş and his friends, Mahir Çayan and İbrahim Kaypakkaya and their stories. The revolutionaries of that era passed through the East a lot. So opposition to the government is in our make-up, and we’ve had sympathy for revolutionism ever since our childhood. 

I was 14-15 years old when I first wanted to join. But I didn’t know to go, so I stayed. As a matter of fact, people join the revolution at a very young age. For instance, while I was there, a couple of people had come who were 23-24 years old. I clearly remember thinking, “Why did they come at all after this age?” 

We (and I mean the majority) did not believe we’d live to see 24-25. These ages seemed far too big. We were ashamed of being alive at age 20-21. We’d just lost so many before they reached their twenties... 

Your perception of time is different too at that age. Even a year seems like a long period of time. Therefore you don’t think, I will grow up some more, mature, and then go. To the contrary you think you’re running late with every passing day. 

Before I went I was both working and enrolled in distance education. I was sixteen or seventeen years old. But now when I look back, I see that I was still a child then. This has nothing to go with going to the mountain. You’re already not a child in the society you’re in. 

If we are to talk about some criteria for and rights of children, we have to sadly state that these are absent in the society we live in. People grow up and mature early in our society. 

At age 15…

After turning 15, one has started to seek an identity for her/himself. You have been aware of social issues. You feel the deep pain of anyone injured in anywhere. If you experience a revolutionary interaction, you want to radicalize upon this awareness.

The reality you experienced, saw and heard has gone beyond the all definitions of injustice, inequality, etc. People, the young ones, “children” have been killed. Making plans for your future or caring about just your own life have become embarrassing. You want to do something against these and say that I’m also here. Consequently; you find yourself on the Mountain (or prison).

The ones cared about these children (young people), by asking that why they take to the hills, should first examine the circumstances led to this choice.

Otherwise it would be useless same as questioning the stolen bread by a hungry child. Because this child stolen the bread due to being hungry, not being convinced. The other child took the hills instead of stealing bread, her/his social awareness was directed her/him to the mountains.  The alternative choice is in there.

In other words, s/he “follows her/his heart”. I’m not mentioning the Kurdish and Kurdistan question since you have already known a lot about it. Believe me, at those ages, one can be strongly proud of struggling against the stolen rights and the murdered people without any reason, instead of being doctor, journalist, attorney or judge and living comfortably in a different way.  

Well, as how it is said; youth exuberance… While taking to the hills at that age, one can think neither her/his life nor a lover. Isn’t it difficult? Of course, you would meet with difficulties on your own self. Sometimes it is about those who were left behind, or the difficulties related with new place and conditions. But you don’t even put into words.

You don’t think to struggle in other ways instead of the Mountain, because a lot of conflicts exist in society and there are many crucial issues. You want to demolish and fix in a quick way.

What should be demolished and fixed? The society, state and the world…The meaning of the words ‘universal’ and ‘international’ can be comprehended more intensely at those ages. When an incident, a riot are occurred in anywhere, you burn with the desire of being there. Of course these feelings are not totally changed after growing, but in childhood or youth period you feel it profoundly in your soul. You don’t care about yourself, just concern about people, injustices and issues. You don’t want to content with thoughts; you want to get involved to the solution.  I think sense of belonging is also so important, however no matter what they say; at those ages you don't feel that belong in a place, but the world.

Being deceived 

I think the term ‘childhood’ is used in a narrow sense. As it is usually said; since s/he is a child, s/he can be convinced easily. Maybe they don’t implicitly manifest their own will, but they are aware of the reality they experienced and saw.

As for me, the children are convinced by the situation of the society, not by anyone. It is the system that cannot create a respond for their dreams.  It is the state that convinced the children by providing neither future, nor freedom and democracy. Taking to the hills, the children have already known that it doesn’t promise any comfort, so they don’t think that they are convinced whenever confronting with a problem.  While leaving, one is aware of the things left behind.

You have to leave behind your school (I’m certainly support going school), your work, maybe your lover. For example, at those ages it’s very hard to leave your mother, father and brothers/sisters, and think of the possibility that you may never see them again. You hesitate for a second when you think about your mother. You leave these people in a difficult situation. But right after, you conclude that the best favor I can do for them is to give a livable, nice world.

The most hurtful thing for me is to be a witness of going to the mountains after growing and dying of those who were just a child at the time when we were on mountain.   Nothing affected and broke me as that much.

We were the last generation; at least we hoped. Maybe those who were on mountains before us also thought like us. As we expected that the children would not experience the things same as us and grow in a free and equal society. We undertook such a mission. You couldn’t think about its long-term outcomes, in fact it’s the most crucial deficiency. The actual unjust system would be demolished, and replaced with the new one by a revolution…

Of course now, we can clearly see that it cannot be solved just with our efforts. May be your grandsons and also their grandsons will go on struggling, but now you wish that they can struggle in a much safer conditions. At least there wouldn’t be any blood; the children would not be murdered…

I think, today the best reply to the question of why these children take the hills is the reveal of the reality that they experienced and saw. The villages of this children have been burnt, their fathers have been lost, they agonize, their toys have been crushed by military shoes, even some of them have kicked by nightsticks in their mother’s womb, maybe their mother-tongue is not banned now, but they are still mocked due to their mother-tongue, they aren’t offered any financial and social opportunities.  

Recently I have heard that a lot, more than half of the children in Istanbul have drug addiction. These issues should be also discussed and found a way out. Why does the government let these things to happen? Of course they aimed to create marginal, arabesque and addicted youth.

Those who go up to the mountains are more or less being listened just because they are likely to confront these situations. Actually they don’t care about these children. If they would care, the prisons won’t be full of children.  In there, they weren’t exposed to bad treatment.

Injustice

Things that we witness during our children don’t only determine our personality but it also shed light on what we expect from the future. From the age of 15, we start questioning about what we want to become in the future, we start setting goals. This is the period when you decide what job you want to have in the future after your studies.

These are very serious matters. However, there is a long way to go before reaching that phrase. If someone is determined ti go to the mountain [join PKK], they do so. They don’t want to be be late for that. Because they believe that they can only realize through this way. Those who die for this cause are idols. This idol, with time, becomes the target. One’s own life is no longer important. Such are the emotions and opinions of the people whom you call children.

The transition between childhood towards adolescence is indefinite and sharp as knife. Therefore it is radical as well. Pay attention to the protests in the cities. They are very straightforward. I know that from experience.  

We would say that a protest or celebration had no taste without a sense of riot. Even if no such action happens, we are going to cover our face during May Day, Newroz or March 8 Walk. This is just an image. Uncover your face, what is wrong with that? It is not illegal, this is not anything. There, you just show an attitude. This is a sense of defense, it is a symbol. This is indeed a beautiful attitude. Looking from now, I sometimes miss that.

Adrenalin is a lot which provokes reflection, intelligence. It is also the case in the emotional sense. This is a wonderful search, it fills one with plain energy. Indeed, every youngster has the potential to go up to the mountain [join militia]. Mountains are the source of radicalism. For Kurdish people, it is the place and symbol to say “no”, to show an attitude, to confront. 

Children are predominantly being manipulated within the recent debate on children joining PKK. This is certainly controversial. But just because it is very spiky topic, we can’t just turn a blind eye to all the problems surrounding us. it would be unfair and merciless [to the cause] of those children. 

When these children are experiencing all these problems that most of us can’t even bear, nobody is raise questions on those who might have caused these issues. And then it becomes a problem when those children take the mountains. Maybe they went up to the mountains so that we could finally be aware of them. Of course, we are not talking about a childish game here unfortunately. Anyways, I am sure that those people don’t see themselves as children. 

Only few Kurdish people sent their children to the mountain with their hands. Families love guerrillas, they want to see things resolved, but they don’t want their children involved in it. This is normal. Because it risks the death of their beloved ones. What kind of mother or father wants their children dead? I would feel the same if it were my kid at stake. This is a protective instinct.

And as long as problems don’t reach to a resolution, then more and children head to the mountains. You don’t have to be clairvoyant to see that. It was something that existed before us and will do so after us as well. For this reason, the resolution to the problem comes from the sensitivity towards the issue as well as creating more democratic and equalitarian conditions.

If that happens, then children will not go up to the mountain but to schools and contribute as individuals for the benefit of the people. I believe that those who go up to the mountains would play a more efficient and fulfilling role in the society once the conditions are met…(RŞ/NM/PU/CB/BM)

* Click here to read the article in Turkish.