My Right To Apologize

Like many people who have signed and not signed the statement in apology of the 1915 events; I also think the wording is not to the liking of some of us; but I guess the drafters of this text argued on this extensively, and came to a "compromise" one, to provide as much participation as possible.

For example, personally, I am not happy with the definition of the 1915 as only the Great Catastrophe; I would have liked to sign  under a text which said Genocide openly; I believe we have past all  threshold to be cautious; especially after the killing of Hrant Dink.

Also some other persons have been outside the scope of the apology as we all know the Assyrians also had their share of the 1915 Genocide; and then when is a good time to apologise from the Rums (ethnic Greeks under Turkish rule) and other non-Muslims in Turkey who have suffered not may be as much as in so many numbers, but have also suffered similarly? Therefore the text could have possibly said "the Armenian Genocide, the Armenians and others who have lost their lives in that period and all the non-Muslims who have suffered the same faith for similar reasons of hatred; as victims of crimes against humanity..".

Another point of ciriticism was that this apology statement's text could have been discussed a little longer among a larger group of persons rather than being launched immediately by the four prominent intellectuals; this would have given us all the chance to refine and study other forms of apologies better; and improve it.

BUT I still signed this statement, because:

Even though I do not feel personally responsible from the Genocide; I signed it for reasons of humane consciousness ; like many others have also expressed; i.e. Yasemn Çongar et al..;

I believe that this statement will increase awareness and also put pressures on official historiography,

I signed for reasons of compassion and empathy creation;

I signed to announce that we, the citizens of Turkey who are willing to face the past, those of us who have to live here have had really enough of this official and public denialist approach, we can not not sign such a statement if already some people have taken courageous initiative to begin somewhere; to take  a step further ahead in a thorny road;

I see the statement as an avant garde to be followed by better ones and many many others in the near future; this is only a starter;

As against the criticisms of those who do not wish to sign by saying that they are world citizens and not bound by the borders of a mundane state;
these  people who signed the apology text are also citizens of the world; to say those who sign are feeling as subjects of the Turkish state; or doing this in the name of the Turkish state would be injustice to the signatories.

I signed because this burden of official/public denial has always been too unbearable to live with; you can imagine living in a country where such truth has been continuously concealed and many people who wanted to talk about it faced court cases, had to flee to another civilised parts of the world; or had been killed like Hrant Dink.  Hrant Dink was killed because of this concealed history and open hatred; was killed because he was an Armenian; and also because he was constantly trying to uncover the buried facts;

I wanted to sign it not merely to put my mind at ease; as my mind is still not at ease and will not be until Turkey recognizes, apologises and compensates officially; my mind will not be at ease till the moment I die with remembrance of those Armenian brothers and sisters of ours and others who had to die like that; But this will be a small step in that truth and soul searching path; it is worth the effort; brick by brick to make this wall of denial and shame to fall down;

I wanted to sign because I wanted to shout not only by one signature but all my life that I will always be at pain, suffer, remember the lost souls and suffrage they had to go through;

Finally this is my right to apologise; to not only to those living Armenians whether they were relatives or had no ties at all with the genocide victims; all inclusive apology from all Armenians and Assyrians, and all human beings of the world; but also to the deceased souls of the genocide of the 1909 and 1915. Whether my apology is accepted or not, (by the living or by the deceased) I will want to keep doing this until we all accept, understand, share pain, forgive; but not FORGET till eternity what had happened in 1915.

I may still have forgotten important reasons to the apology, or feelings still not explained; but just wanted to express some of them; the process of apology is not a gained one with one statement; it is a long long enduring path to take. And this statement is a sign post for this road; and I wish to congratulate the four courageus persons who initiated it. (ŞP/EK)